So....I'm Engaged!

Hello Blogging World! Yes, I am without a doubt the worst blogger ever. I think I just use my blog so I can see what everyone else is up to:) But today, I have something to blog about. Actually, I have had something to blog about for quite some time, and I am just now getting around to it. I guess I should start at the beginning.

This, is Karl Beckert
(and I didn't have a picture of just him so it's both of us)

I first noticed Mister Karl Beckert sitting a few rows ahead of me in math class. I remember thinking he was very cute so I smiled at him, which he responded to by smiling back making me very self conscious and nervous so I looked away quickly. It wasn't too much longer before he got up the courage to talk to me while we were walking to class. Soon after that we were sitting together and helping each other with our assignments. After a few weeks, he asked me out on a date! (I was very excited). We went to an interpretive dance performance at which we decided it would be intellectually stimulating to interpret what the dances meant. With a debate on whether a particular dance more closely resembled Pirates of the Caribbean or Titanic and having the people behind us continuously kick Karl's chair because we were laughing so hard, we really hit it off. We went on several dates after that and one week we spent almost every day together! The day I moved home I realized how much I missed being with him and how much I had grown to respect, care about, and dare I say, Love, this boy. Lucky for me, he had the same feelings:) We started talking about marriage, and yes, I freaked out several times, but when I talked to him about marriage, I felt good and even had fun talking about it with him. That was a big deal! Yes, I freaked out numerous times throughout this process. Lucky for me I had a very loving family, great friends and a very patient Karl to help me through the process.

So, about four weeks ago, with the help of my siblings, Karl took my to the Bountiful temple, where a white blanket decorated with rose petals, daisies, strawberries, and books from our math class was spread under the trees. We ate strawberries as he told me how much he had come to love me and why he loved me so much. Then, he told me to stand up as he got on one knee and asked me if I would marry him. I said yes:)

I am so thankful for Karl. I feel like he is helping me be a better person just by loving me and helping me see my potential. He has the most beautiful blue eyes that with just one look tell you everything he stands for. I love how he can read me like a book and know exactly what I need. I love his silly sense of humor and how much he loves to make me laugh (which he is very good at). I just love him! He is wonderful and I'm very thankful:)

I love you Mom!

Today is Mother's Day and I for sure have a fantastic Mother who I am so thankful for!
I was reading talk given this past general conference by Elder Ballard about mother's and daughters and I couldn't help but think of how much my mom has blessed my life.

She has been an incredible example to me. My parents have dealt with a lot of challenges this year, but they have faced each challenge with countless leaps of faith and prayer. They have been an incredible example to me of trusting in the Lord and living gospel principles.

I think my mom became my best friend my senior year of high school when I started talking to my mom about everything. My mom seems to understand how I work better than anybody else, so talking to her helped me understand myself better. She helped me realize that I am a Daughter of God and my worth is set in stone. Nothing that I or anybody else says or does has any affect on my worth because my Heavenly Father loves me perfectly despite that.

Through her example, her counsel, and her patience, my mom has taught me how to be comfortable being myself, how to make goals and accomplish them, and sooo many other countless things that have meant the world to me.

I love you mom! Thank you for putting up with my bad attitudes, laziness, whining, emotional ridiculousness, etc. Thank you for laughing with me during ridiculous movies, going on walks with me, supporting my piano and singing aspirations, dealing with my cat because you love me, sharing funny jokes with me (at least by my standards) etc. And most of all.......

Thank you for being my mom!

Finals Bleh!

Finals Bleh
a poem composed during a five minute break by me

Oh Finals,
I do dislike thee
Thou art an icky flea
Taking my precious time from me

I want thee to be done
So I can go play in the sun,
Which seems to have run
away.
These finals are making me feel so gray!

I will be done a week from Friday
And then I have four months to play(ish)
YAY!

I am now going to focus on my studdies
So I can pass my finals and hang out with my buddies

“Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.”

Here Comes The Sun

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Spring is finally here! And yes, it is full of joy and joyness.
It's amazing how a little sunshine can bring a world of happiness.

I am very excited for shorts, capris, bare feet, and... getting a TAN!!!
YAY for spring.
Oh how I love thee!
(and yes, my feet are this happy when they are not wearing shoes(:..)
It's crazy to think that I am almost done with my first year of college.
I feel like I have learned so much about myself and the things I am capable of.

Sometimes I still feel like that little girl in high school and then I think of how much I have learned since then and realize, I have grown up a wee bit.
Life is constantly changing, but rather than fight the change, I am learning to try and embrace it. Change brings with it new exciting experiences and lessons. Just like the scriptures say, there must be opposition in all things. That's the only way we can learn.

All of the beautiful flowers and trees, that are finally starting to bloom, are a wonderful reminder of Heavenly Father's love for me. Steph and I had a fantastic pseudo FHE together last night and it was just what I needed. We first listened to Consider the Lily's by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and then had a lesson that fit in perfectly with the song. Steph used a great talk about becoming spiritually self reliant. I learned that yes, the Lord will guide us through our journey on Earth, but we are given agency to make decisions and a lot of the time, the Lord wants us to make decisions for ourselves. He is not going to let us do something he knows will be bad for us if we are following his teachings and trying to do what's right. I always just want an immediate, lightening bolt answer telling me exactly what to do, but then I would be blindly following instead of actively learning. I know I am a daughter of God and as such, I am able to make wise decisions by using the spiritual resources I have and my own thoughts and feelings. I just have to trust myself and trust in the Lord. Everything will work out in the end if I can do that.


Thank you steph for the great lesson!

Confused?

Have you ever had an internal battle with yourself?

I do all of the time!

I go back and forth and back and forth and can never seem to make a decision.

And yet...

Do I really need to make one now?
Am I just making a big deal out of nothing?

I don't know!
It's so frustrating not knowing what you really think about something or what you really want.

Sometimes I wish that I could have a big map of my life telling me exactly where I need to go.

Wouldn't that be lovely!

But I guess that takes all of the fun out of the journey.

I mean, life is like a box of chocolates right? if they told you what kinds of chocolates were in a box of chocolates, wouldn't that take all of the fun out of guessing which chocolate is which and either being pleasantly surprised with a caramel filled chocolate, or disgusted by one that tastes like toothpaste?

I guess you learn from those toothpaste filled decisions and hopefully learn enough to notice a caramel filled decision when it comes your way.

No this post makes no sense, but I just had to vent a wee bit.

Thank you for your patience during this very difficult time.

Conference

Can I just say how much I love conference weekend? Conference is always incredible, but this conference seemed even more special to me than previous conferences. Maybe it was because I got to come home and see me family, or maybe I really needed to hear the inspired words shared during each conference session. It's probably a little of both. All I know is now I have a much better understanding of the things I need to be focusing on in my life right now.

It's very easy to get caught up in me, myself, and I. What's going on in my life with my school work, my dating (well ish dating) scene, my financial situation. As Brian Regan would say, I have a serious case of the Me Monster. This conference I was reminded of two goals I should continually be seeking for. Number 1) Seek the Savior and Number 2) Seek family.

It's very easy to get so caught up in and stressed out about life that we forget to ask for help from the person who is able to help and better yet, wants us to help us. Life would be so much easier if instead of feeling like I have to take on the world alone and try to find my own way, I decided to turn to him and let him lead me. I am very thankful for a Savior who loves me enough that he is willing to wait patiently for me to turn to him and let him take me by the hand and lead me. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have of him and how much I was able to learn about him during conference.

There were a lot of great talks on family, particularly the influence parents have on their children. The responsibility parents have to help their children seek righteousness in their lives is incredible. I still feel like starting my own family won't be for awhile, but having my own family is a goal that I want to continually work for. After conference, I feel a push to prepare myself even more for the responsibility of being a mom someday. I am very excited to be a mom someday, and I am very lucky to have a great mom that I can look to as an example for that day. I just want to let both of my parents how much I love them! Through all of my tantrums, tears, and complaints, my parents have always supported me, loved me, and helped me figure life out. Because of them, I have knowledge of the gospel and two great examples of how to live it. Like Nephi of old, I know I have been born of goodly parents. Thanks mom and dad!

Spring Break

Spring Break was so great! Going home for a few days to relax with the family followed by a trip to Moab with my roommie Steph was just the break I needed. I love getting to go home and be with my family. No matter how much I do enjoy the college scene, going home to my best friends is something I always look forward to. I love my family!

Moab was a great time. I had never been before so this was a new adventure for me. I should have brought Willie, the Subaru I drive, with me because everyone seems to have them down there, which is so great! We spent a lot of time at Arches National Park hiking and exploring the awesome rock formations there. We also spent ample time laying out by the pool and enjoying the sunshine.

Arches national park was beautiful! Steph and I first hiked to tower arch where we enjoyed a beautiful hour of laying in the sun by the arch with almost nobody there! I love how quiet and peaceful nature is. I truly believe the world is full of so many beautiful things to remind us of how much Heavenly Father loves his children. I know I could feel his love sitting out there in complete peace. Hiking to Delicate Arch was another incredible experience. I was so scared Steph and I were going to slip walking out to the arch, but it was totally worth it! The view is incredible! It's amazing how nature can form such beautiful landscapes that I consider pieces of art. Also, just across from the arch was a couple taking wedding pictures. I have no idea how that bride got up there with her dress, but props to you! I bet those pictures are incredible! Sadly I am more technology challenged than I thought because I can't seem to figure out how to post pictures like I want, so until I figure this out, just believe me that it was awesome! Oh, and I can't forget about Hole in the Rock.

Maybe this isn't as funny as I think it is. Having a cave house/diner is a very novel, creative idea. It's just the fact that they turned this 'home' into a museum complete with gift shop and petting zoo. And of course, Albert's (the creator of hole in the rock) lovely taxidermy attempts. Steph's mom, Steph and decided to visit this lovely place and take a tour while we were at it. The tour guide was very animated and made the tour very entertaining and educational. Hole in the Rock was founded by dear Albert and Glady's Christensen decided to blow a cave into one of Moab's incredible rock formations and make it their home for the next several years. Albert passed away before it's completion, but Glady's saw to the home's completion even building her own private bathroom, which she lovingly called her 'private swimming pool', at the age of 60! The home was painted in a lovely turquoise color complete with furniture, art done by Albert himself, and several taxidermy specimens that Albert himself stuffed. Among these being his first attempt at taxidermy, their beloved pet donkey who still posses as an inquisitive expression and a wild mustang that sticks his tongue out at you when you walk by. Yes, Hole in the Rock is a marvelous attraction that I suggest everyone experience at least once in your lifetime!

Spring break has been over for a long time now (a whole week) and it's time to finish out the last few weeks of school. It feels like it's never going end! But it's close so I am just going to create things to look forward to to make it bearable. Number one being a visit home this weekend for General Conference! I can't wait!