I love you Mom!

Today is Mother's Day and I for sure have a fantastic Mother who I am so thankful for!
I was reading talk given this past general conference by Elder Ballard about mother's and daughters and I couldn't help but think of how much my mom has blessed my life.

She has been an incredible example to me. My parents have dealt with a lot of challenges this year, but they have faced each challenge with countless leaps of faith and prayer. They have been an incredible example to me of trusting in the Lord and living gospel principles.

I think my mom became my best friend my senior year of high school when I started talking to my mom about everything. My mom seems to understand how I work better than anybody else, so talking to her helped me understand myself better. She helped me realize that I am a Daughter of God and my worth is set in stone. Nothing that I or anybody else says or does has any affect on my worth because my Heavenly Father loves me perfectly despite that.

Through her example, her counsel, and her patience, my mom has taught me how to be comfortable being myself, how to make goals and accomplish them, and sooo many other countless things that have meant the world to me.

I love you mom! Thank you for putting up with my bad attitudes, laziness, whining, emotional ridiculousness, etc. Thank you for laughing with me during ridiculous movies, going on walks with me, supporting my piano and singing aspirations, dealing with my cat because you love me, sharing funny jokes with me (at least by my standards) etc. And most of all.......

Thank you for being my mom!

Finals Bleh!

Finals Bleh
a poem composed during a five minute break by me

Oh Finals,
I do dislike thee
Thou art an icky flea
Taking my precious time from me

I want thee to be done
So I can go play in the sun,
Which seems to have run
away.
These finals are making me feel so gray!

I will be done a week from Friday
And then I have four months to play(ish)
YAY!

I am now going to focus on my studdies
So I can pass my finals and hang out with my buddies

“Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.”

Here Comes The Sun

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Spring is finally here! And yes, it is full of joy and joyness.
It's amazing how a little sunshine can bring a world of happiness.

I am very excited for shorts, capris, bare feet, and... getting a TAN!!!
YAY for spring.
Oh how I love thee!
(and yes, my feet are this happy when they are not wearing shoes(:..)
It's crazy to think that I am almost done with my first year of college.
I feel like I have learned so much about myself and the things I am capable of.

Sometimes I still feel like that little girl in high school and then I think of how much I have learned since then and realize, I have grown up a wee bit.
Life is constantly changing, but rather than fight the change, I am learning to try and embrace it. Change brings with it new exciting experiences and lessons. Just like the scriptures say, there must be opposition in all things. That's the only way we can learn.

All of the beautiful flowers and trees, that are finally starting to bloom, are a wonderful reminder of Heavenly Father's love for me. Steph and I had a fantastic pseudo FHE together last night and it was just what I needed. We first listened to Consider the Lily's by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and then had a lesson that fit in perfectly with the song. Steph used a great talk about becoming spiritually self reliant. I learned that yes, the Lord will guide us through our journey on Earth, but we are given agency to make decisions and a lot of the time, the Lord wants us to make decisions for ourselves. He is not going to let us do something he knows will be bad for us if we are following his teachings and trying to do what's right. I always just want an immediate, lightening bolt answer telling me exactly what to do, but then I would be blindly following instead of actively learning. I know I am a daughter of God and as such, I am able to make wise decisions by using the spiritual resources I have and my own thoughts and feelings. I just have to trust myself and trust in the Lord. Everything will work out in the end if I can do that.


Thank you steph for the great lesson!

Confused?

Have you ever had an internal battle with yourself?

I do all of the time!

I go back and forth and back and forth and can never seem to make a decision.

And yet...

Do I really need to make one now?
Am I just making a big deal out of nothing?

I don't know!
It's so frustrating not knowing what you really think about something or what you really want.

Sometimes I wish that I could have a big map of my life telling me exactly where I need to go.

Wouldn't that be lovely!

But I guess that takes all of the fun out of the journey.

I mean, life is like a box of chocolates right? if they told you what kinds of chocolates were in a box of chocolates, wouldn't that take all of the fun out of guessing which chocolate is which and either being pleasantly surprised with a caramel filled chocolate, or disgusted by one that tastes like toothpaste?

I guess you learn from those toothpaste filled decisions and hopefully learn enough to notice a caramel filled decision when it comes your way.

No this post makes no sense, but I just had to vent a wee bit.

Thank you for your patience during this very difficult time.

Conference

Can I just say how much I love conference weekend? Conference is always incredible, but this conference seemed even more special to me than previous conferences. Maybe it was because I got to come home and see me family, or maybe I really needed to hear the inspired words shared during each conference session. It's probably a little of both. All I know is now I have a much better understanding of the things I need to be focusing on in my life right now.

It's very easy to get caught up in me, myself, and I. What's going on in my life with my school work, my dating (well ish dating) scene, my financial situation. As Brian Regan would say, I have a serious case of the Me Monster. This conference I was reminded of two goals I should continually be seeking for. Number 1) Seek the Savior and Number 2) Seek family.

It's very easy to get so caught up in and stressed out about life that we forget to ask for help from the person who is able to help and better yet, wants us to help us. Life would be so much easier if instead of feeling like I have to take on the world alone and try to find my own way, I decided to turn to him and let him lead me. I am very thankful for a Savior who loves me enough that he is willing to wait patiently for me to turn to him and let him take me by the hand and lead me. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have of him and how much I was able to learn about him during conference.

There were a lot of great talks on family, particularly the influence parents have on their children. The responsibility parents have to help their children seek righteousness in their lives is incredible. I still feel like starting my own family won't be for awhile, but having my own family is a goal that I want to continually work for. After conference, I feel a push to prepare myself even more for the responsibility of being a mom someday. I am very excited to be a mom someday, and I am very lucky to have a great mom that I can look to as an example for that day. I just want to let both of my parents how much I love them! Through all of my tantrums, tears, and complaints, my parents have always supported me, loved me, and helped me figure life out. Because of them, I have knowledge of the gospel and two great examples of how to live it. Like Nephi of old, I know I have been born of goodly parents. Thanks mom and dad!